Uncovered

I was standing at the bus stop waiting for, well, the bus. General thoughts swirled in my head (such as those of comely ladies in various stages of undress), taking up most of my attention and I really was not in the mood to notice much else. But about five minutes into this reverie, a whiff of that urine cum weed scented perfume that is all the rage among the homeless suffused my nostrils. Turning around, I beheld a specimen of that fascinating community in my vicinity.



Wow. I mean,... whoa.



He came close to me and for half a moment I thought he was going to touch me for a dollar. But he just sat on the ground beside the stop and pulled out a massive joint and started away. I had to move a tad away just to avoid getting high on the fumes.



I watched the guy with interest for a while, taking in his matted hair and beard, his tattered, semen encrusted clothes, his stained shoes, his uncovered penis, ...



I looked a bit harder. Yup, there was no doubt about it. It was his wang and it was peeping out.



This put me in a bit of a spot. I mean, had this guy been your normal, sane dude, I would have pointed out the thing discreetly and it would have been dealt with. No fuss. But this guy was obviously not sane. There was no way of telling how he would take it. Moreover, for all I knew, in his current state, he may have actually unzipped on purpose.



I was still having an internal debate on the issue when I saw his joystick harden. That sort of did it. I cleared my throat to attract his attention. And some more. Then I waved. Then I asked him to pardon me. Then I tried to do more than one of these at the same time. I suppose at that point I must have been looking crazy even by his standards because he noticed me.



I started to tell tim that his thingy was showing.



"Fuck off."



"I just want to tell you that your wang is getting some fresh air, if you know what I mean."



"What !?!"



"I just ..."



"What !?!"



"I ..."



"What !?!"



I tried the pantomime method. I pointed to his crotch. He showed me his finger. Then I pointed to him and then to MY crotch. He blinked. At last, we seemed to be getting somewhere. I repeated the act, with great deliberation.



...

...



Homeless Dude: "Yes. I can see your pants are unzipped. Do them up yourself, you gay bastard."



Holy Jesus.



At least I was wearing underwear. Thank God for small mercies.