Is it just me or does anger strike other people as being a pleasant sensation too !?! I know I find it intoxicating and addictive. I hate the thing/person/situation that made me angry, but the feeling of anger itself is strangely satisfying. When I do get angry, I feel the inner urge to fan the flames so that I get angrier and angrier (always on the inside of my head - I’m too meek to really get it out into the open). I find the final state of fury very, very nice.
If this state of rage is somehow punctured, I feel almost dejected. For instance, consider this scenario: I’m stewing over some minor news article that reported something I did not want to hear and my friend comes over and asks if I would like a spot of tea.
My friend’s just trying to be nice - I really cannot get angry with him for intruding on my inner tantrum. But the interruption irritates me. It deflates my anger, takes the winds out of the sails of my boat of fury. I try desperately to stay furious, but it’s no good. At the end of a couple of minutes, I’m not angry any more. Now, I’m not complaining about this new state of mind. I like it fine. But that transition is unpleasant - it subjects me to withdrawal symptoms which I really find nasty.
I wonder if other people feel like this too. Certainly there is no shortage of people in the world who are permanently in a state of anger. Maybe they are just too addicted to the intoxication of rage to let go.
If this state of rage is somehow punctured, I feel almost dejected. For instance, consider this scenario: I’m stewing over some minor news article that reported something I did not want to hear and my friend comes over and asks if I would like a spot of tea.
My friend’s just trying to be nice - I really cannot get angry with him for intruding on my inner tantrum. But the interruption irritates me. It deflates my anger, takes the winds out of the sails of my boat of fury. I try desperately to stay furious, but it’s no good. At the end of a couple of minutes, I’m not angry any more. Now, I’m not complaining about this new state of mind. I like it fine. But that transition is unpleasant - it subjects me to withdrawal symptoms which I really find nasty.
I wonder if other people feel like this too. Certainly there is no shortage of people in the world who are permanently in a state of anger. Maybe they are just too addicted to the intoxication of rage to let go.
3 comments:
I agree with you. I often feel the same. Maybe it's genetic or something. :D
P.S. Next time you get angry, I'll remember that you're actually enjoying yourself and let you stew in it. Should I fan the flames as well? (I'm quite good at that) ;)
I know you feel the same :). I wrote that the last paragraph with you in mind. Nah, I'm kidding :). Also, nice to see you on Blogger. Welcome.
I wouldn't say that I normally enjoy being angry, but I see what you're saying about the transition. I hate when you feel like you haven't been sufficiently angry about something before something else comes along to calm you down. It kind of feels like you've been cheated out of your emotions.
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